be a virgin until marriage or have sex?

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN LOOKING BACK RED HAIR IN CAR 20 YEAR OLD VIRGIN TO HAVE SEX OR NOT Untitled by Emmanuel Rosario, on Flickr
Photo via: Emmanuel Rosario

Le Love has been the one and only website I have read for the last 4 years. It has helped me a lot reading these stories about real people that have been through so much and experienced some magical moments with people they LOVE. This is not always the occasion, there are many stories about heartbreak and how they have dealt with it, in every kind of way. These people show their emotions, their stories that define who they are. So what the hell, why not share mine?

I don't have a story where I have been madly in love or where I have had a really bad breakup. But I have some thoughts that I need to share with someone, the real people out there. I'm a 20 year old girl and a virgin. Yes virgin. I would say that this is my biggest secret, no one knows and no one is supposed to know. I would explain my thoughts with just one word, dreamer.

There is a part of me that thinks I should remain a virgin until I get married or find the «one». This part of me thinks that this is the one and only choice. Why not wait for this person that you are madly in love with and want to marry. Isn't it a beautiful thought to have just had sex with one person? Yes, I'm religious, but that's not the reason why I'm a virgin. The reason is that I want to feel special, that it is meant to be for me to wait for the one and only. My dream to have a good thing to wait for, that all these years have been like this for the perfect finale.

And there is the other part of me that thinks, what the hell have I done all these years without sex? This part of me encourages me to do whatever I want, get it over with. Isn't sex a big part of a girl's life, shouldn't this be a part of my life. Experience in every kind of way. This part of me feels that I have missed on so much like falling in love, having plenty of boyfriends and experiencing mad amazing sex. My dream of being that girl, the one that just does everything that comes to her mind. Sex is a big deal when you are 20 years old, so is what have I done so wrong?

Should I do this right now or since I've waited that long should I wait longer? These thoughts get into my head and disturb me. What kind of girl thinks about sex and relationships like this. One day it's one thing and the next day is another. Have sex! No, wait for the perfect one. I'm mad, mad at me for having it affect me. And since no one in my life knows, I need someone to tell me what to do. I need someone that doesn't know me whats the best thing to do. Be a virgin until marriage or have sex and wake up the wild side in me?

Sincerely, Amanda.
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