Santa Banta

• Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?Santa: The taste.
• Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
• Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.Banta: What’s he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
• At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?Boy: Goal karan lai.Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
• Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
• Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?A: Because it was an entrance exam.
• Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."
• Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
• Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
• A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
• Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'
• Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
• Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.Banta: Santa u'll die.Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
• Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
• Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.Gal - What are you doing?Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
• Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.
• Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.Santa: Koi hint?
• Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
• Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
• Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
• Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?Santa: Birla cement.Banta: Kyun?Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
• Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
• Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.
• Banta ek sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
• Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.Santa: Hai.Frog: Nahin hai.Santa: Hai.Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
• Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!
• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I'll take the money.
• Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?Banta: Me too, after u leave.
• Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'
• Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
• Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.Banta: Santa u'll die.Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
• Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
• Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.Gal - What are you doing?Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
• Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.
• Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.Santa: Koi hint?
• Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
• Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
• Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?Santa: The taste.
• Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
• Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
• Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
• Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
• Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.Banta: What’s he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
• At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?Boy: Goal karan lai.Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
• Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
• Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?A: Because it was an entrance exam.
• Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."
• Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
• Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
• What's Ford?Santa: Gaadi.What's Oxford?Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
• Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
• Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?A: He wanted to see butterfly!
• Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
• Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
• Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
• Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
• Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
• Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.Santa: I didn't say he got out.
• Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
• Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
• Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.Pappu: Life imprisonment!