what heartache was

heart break hands
ph: submitter's own

i found this many years ago. before i had even met him. before i had even dreamed i would find a man who could take my breath away and make me feel so utterly complete like he did. anyways, back then, before i even knew what heartache was i bookmarked this, pasting it into a document and shortly then forgetting about it. now, three and a half years later, now that i'm counting days (32) we have been apart, instead of days we have been together, i come across this:

"someone once told me it was comparable to death. to mourn the loss of a loved one. cause really in your life, they are dead. left only with the memories to play over again. i still don’t understand how you’re supposed to stop ever loving someone? to be everything one day and nothing the next. i don’t get it? but i think it was best stated in everwood...

What you're feeling right now Amy, it doesn't ever really go away -- not completely. It's not like, ya know, you're gonna go back to being the person you were before they died -- the person's gone. It's more like something inside of you breaks and your body finds a way to compensate for it. Like if you busted your right hand, you figure out how to use the left one. And sure, you might resist for awhile because you're pissed off that you have to learn all this stuff again that nobody else does. Eventually your body takes over and figures it out for you. And you’re glad. Because if it was up to you . . . you'd look at your broken hand forever and try to figure out what it was like before"


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