Fresh non-veg Sms Messages

In a bus stand one man and one woman go to bathroom. After finish everything. He comes from gent's toilet and she come from ladies toilet.

Four men in a prison cell. A rapist a murder a psycho and a gay.
Rapist says: if there was a cat here I do fuck it till dies.
The murderer says: once you're done with it. I do torture it to death.
The pushy: once it's dead I do fuck it till I die.
The gay in the corner very softly says: meaow.

Truth behind oral sex: 5000 men were asked what they liked best about receiving oral sex.
3% liked the warmth of the lips on the cock.
4% enjoyed the sensation of the cock getting moist by lips and tongue.
92& appreciated as it keep the woman silent.

Normal lover: shall I sleep on you boobs?
Girl: stupid.
Mentos lover: shall I feel your heart beat.
Girl: come dear..

A man was arrested in a political rally. Why? Because, he saw a journalist girl with a badge on her breast written PRESS He did it.

How does a cricket commentator describe a nude girl? No cover, no extra cover, two silly point and deep gully between two fine legs and a little grass on pitch.

On a hot date- movie ticket-600, dinner-2000 fuel-300, popcorn, coffee, etc-300 stay for your night-2000 and your girlfriend says she's got her periods and the fucking expression on your face is priceless. There is something money can't buy.

What is common between a pen drive and vagina? Both are capable to sore large data in a small place.

Big queue in front of a library just because of a simple spelling mistake on its notice board which read: borrow boobs for fun.

Girl: please come home for dinner.
Boy feels happy, goes to a pharmacist and asks him how to use condoms.
That night he was shocked to see her parents at home.
Girl: come in. don't stand out. I never thought you are so shy.
Boy: and I never thought your father was a pharmacist.

Bra, panty and insurance? They all provide minimum cover to maximum risk areas.

A man sad story: last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me, my kids dint. I went for work, my friends dint. I entered my cabin. My P.A said happy birthday boss. I felt special. She asked me for lunch. After lunch she invited me to her apartment. There she said do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a min? Ok I said nervously. She came out a few minutes later with large cake, followed by wife, kids and friends and I was waiting for her, sitting on the couch naked.

Shopkeeper: madam this panty and this bra will look nice on you.
Lady: how can you be so sure?
Shopkeeper: I have done diploma in interior design.

What's the geographical definition of sex? It's an action done by Poland into Holland between Thailand, occasionally with a little help from Greece.

Girl: in a month all the days I can kiss you except that three days.
Boy: why? Girl: in that three days I will be very week so I can't hug and kiss you.
Boy: if you spend 5 minutes with me in bed room? I can postpone your periods to next 10 months.

A baby boy and a baby girl in a bath tub having a bath.
Girl looks down at the boy and says, can I touch it?
Boy: no way..! You have already broken yours.

90 year man: my 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion.
Doctor: I will tell a story, once a hunter in hurry took an umbrella instead of gun. He saw a lion and lifts the umbrella and pulls the handle the lion dead.
Old man: that s impossible someone else must shot it.
Doctor: exactly, now you understand.

After the postmortem doctor came home and said to his wife: today is an important day in my life. I saw an 18 inch penis.
Wife: what Joseph is died?

A boy went to his dad's friend home late night uncle offered him to sleep in baby's room boy refused due to baby crying nature and went to sleep in TV lounge next morning he saw a beautiful girl at the breakfast table.
Boy: who are you?
Girl: I am baby. You?
Boy: I am stupid.

Eight years old son: dad what is sex?
Dad gets tensed but explains everything to him.
kid: but dads how do I write all that's in this small box of school admission form.

For years he thought he was good at sex, but then he found his wide had asthma.

No matter how much you press it, shake it, rotate it, slap it, strangle it and pull it, the last drop of urine will always fall in your underwear.

Rape is not a crime; it's just a surprise sex.

Teacher: name some films that have almost same stories?
Student: blue film.

A TV was interviewing a girl.
Interviewer: what's the first thing you do after getting up in the morning?
Girl: I get up and go home.

The history sir was on leave, so the science sir was asked to prepare the exam paper.
1st question: describe first Rani with a neat diagram and label her parts.

Behind every successful man there is a woman but behind every satisfied woman there is a tired man.

Height of misunderstanding: power cut in ladies hostels. Warden called to Eb offices and said, please send your men urgently, here girls are using candles.

You can convert gents' into ladies or ladies into gents, just by cutting or inserting a rod in a bicycle.

Every week, an army man loving wife sent him a photo of her wide open legs in different styles with a note: this is how I will stay till you return, waiting for you. After a long time: he wrote back: who's the fuck is taking the photographs?

Height of insult: a guy in a romantic mood to his girlfriend, I want to be a part of your body.
Girlfriend: no thanks, I already have an asshole.

Best t-shirt quotes on 12 years old girl: oo coming soon.

When two couples come face to face, wife's look at each other's sarees and husband look at each other's wives.

Economics teacher: Give an example of complete business failure due to carelessness.
Student: A pregnant prostitute.

What's height bad luck? Having sex in dreams and getting AIDS in real life.

Boy: mom, why I am black and you're white?
Mom: listen son considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

Children in the dark make mistakes. Mistakes in the dark make children.

A small boy brings his cat to school. Teacher asked why? Little boy tearfully replies. I heard daddy telling mom, I am going to tear your pussy after the kids go to school.

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