Latest Adult, dirty, Non Veg SMS messages & Jokes

After a Certain Age, Men & Women Become like Christmas Trees . . The BALLS & BELLS are only for DECORATION . . . Enjoy your age before its too late..

Dad: Ek zamaana tha jab mein 10 Rs mein Doodh pee ke aata tha. Son: Woh zamaane gaye daddy. Aajkal toh 10 rs mein koi dikhati bhi nahi hai

Hum gaye use manane k liye.. Wo khafa achi lagi,to humne khafa rehne diya. MEANING: Is sher me shayar apni mehbooba se indirectly keh rha hai... "MAA CHUDA"

Teacher: Samasya aur Chunauti kya h? Studnt: 1bistar,Teen ladke, ek ladki ye h samasya ek bistar,teen ladkiya, ek ladka ye hai chunauti

Male v/s Female Brain. Female BRAIN Thinking 20% Jewelry 20% Shoping 20% Money 20% Enjoy 10% Fuck 10% Kitchen care. Male Brain 99% Fuck & 1% how 2 FUCK.

A girl asks her doctor how many calories are there in sperm ??? Doc. - "Believe me, if you can swallow, no one gives a fuck how fat you are !!!

Nawab Sahab Noukrani Se: Tum Begum Se Zyada Maza Deti Ho Naukrani: Ye To Badappan Hai Aapka Hazur, Saare Noukar toh Kehte Hai K Mujhse Zyada Begum Maza Deti Hai

Santa: When is your birthday? Banta: Next week, why? Santa: To gift you curtains.. I'm sick of seeing your wife giving you blowjobs ;) Banta: When is yours? Santa: April. Why? Banta: To gift you binoculars... So you can see who's wife it is. ;)

Neta Gaon Ke Ek Ghar Me Jakar, Ek Aurat Se Bola:- Ab Hum Aa Gaye Hain Ab VIKAAS Hoga.. Aurat: Pichhli Bar Bhi Tumne Yehi Kaha Tha... Per MUNNI Hui Thi..!!

Gal: ystrday I came to ur house wid a rakhi y dint u let me tie it? Boy : ajeeb zabrdasti hai Tomrw if I'll come to ur house with a condom wil u hv sex wid me?

Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena. Shopkeeper: White hi kyun? Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

Bra to support boobs is understandable But What r panties for? Bcoz The Municipal Law states that all man-holes must be covered, when not in use !

Condoms are like parents... they are there to protect you, but usually it's more fun when they're not around.....

An UNFAITHFUL husband thinks of other women when he sleeps with his wife. A FAITHFUL husband thinks of his wife when he sleeps with other women

Frustrated Santa- Don't waste your money on Anti-wrinkle cream. I have been using it for 6 months & my balls still look like Walnuts...:p

A secretary got an expensive PEN as birthday gift from her boss. She sent her boss a 'Thank You' via SMS. The wife read the text and angrily shows her husband the message: Your penis wonderful, I enjoyed using it last night. Thanks! Moral: Space is essential in every successful married life!!!

Sunny Leone is learning Hindi for Jism-2. Usey lagta hai ki Mahesh Bhatt uss se dialogue bulwayega!!

Agar ek Chinese ladki ki virginity chali jaye, to uska naam kya hoga ? . . . . . . Guess. . . . . . Guess . . . . . .'LEE HUI'..!!

Share Market mein Jab se laga hu.. Har din subah.. Secretary.. GirlFriend.. Dhoban.. Kamwali.. Padosan.. Samnewali.. Sab yehi puchti he Aaj CHADEGA kya...?

New sexy secretary: To boss , muze roz kittne ghante baithna padega? Boss: Bagal ke cabin me 10 ghante, ya fir 10 minute mere ghante pe. Choice is your's

Ek ladka school bathroom me hand practice kar raha tha tabi Uski teacher aa gayi... ladka bola mam aapki umra Bohot lambi hai 100 saal jiyogi mam.. ..

Ek ladki apni saheli se : Aajkal Ladke itni dheeli pants Pahente hain ki pata hi nahi Chalta ki hamein dekh kar Kaisa "FEEL" kar rahe hain...?

Santa enters home Wife sitting on sofa in skirt not wearing Panty. She spreads her legs. Santa stares at the spot. Wife smiles: "Aise kya Dekh rahe ho! Panty nahi pehni hai." Santa: "Tune to Daraa hi diya. Mujhe laga Sofa Phat gaya hai !!

An innocent girl asked her boyfriend "Who is Sunny Leone??" He replied,"She is the female version of Sunny Deol with 'dhai dhai kilos' at the 'proper places'

AKBAR 2 BIRBAL: Yaar, meri Begum kabhi kabhi mere neeche k baal kheenchti hai BIRBAL: Saza do saalli ko, Jis din khinchey ussi din 2 bar aage se chodo 2 bar peeche se 2 bar khade hoke 2 bar bitha ke 2 bar Muhh mei 2 bar gaand mei SHOT maaro AKBAR: abbay Bhosdike, SAZA USKO DENI HAI YA MUJHE?

Who is an Ideal Wife? . . Pati daru pee ke Ghar aaye.. aur patni aane par pooche: . . Suno jee..pehle Condom lagaaun ya Khana..?

Imp msg.. Send this to all whom you care.. 'A teenager who lived in brazil died after Masturbating 42 times in a day'... So guys.. 41 is the limit.

Correct communication is so important. A woman to a man during sex: 'Keep it up!' Man wonders if it was a complaint or compliment.;)

Gal: ystrday I came to ur house wid a rakhi y dint u let me tie it? Boy : ajeeb zabrdasti hai Tomrw if I'll come to ur house with a condom wil u hv sex wid me?


rooster&cat goin over bridge,cat slips&falls in river.rooster cant stop laughin.wats D moral?whereva therZ a wet pussy therZ a happy cock

Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.

The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fuck the louder the scream,louder the scream the better the fuck,give me a ring u might be in luck

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let me suck you, dont feel shy.

Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!

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