Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” Watch her smile!
♡
Wow! Are those real?
♡
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
♡
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
♡
Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
♡
Woman to Man: Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
♡
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren!
♡
With great penis, comes great responsibility.
♡
Will you marry me for just one night?
♡
Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the ‘d’ cause you’ll get that later!
♡
Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
♡
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
♡
Where’s your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head.
♡
When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
♡
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
♡
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
♡
When God made you, he was showing off.
♡
What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
♡
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.
♡
What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!
♡
What’s a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
♡
What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
♡
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
♡
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
♡
What size shoe you wear babygirl? I’m gonna guess size sexy!
♡
What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too! Seems like we are soulmates.
♡
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
♡
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
♡
What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
♡
What do you want for Christmas? A date with you!
♡
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
♡
What color is your shit?
♡
What are you doing tonight beside me?
♡
What are you doing for the rest of your life? Because I want to spend it with you.
♡
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
♡
We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
♡
Were do you hide your wings?
♡
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
♡
We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
♡
Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
♡
Was your father a welder? No, why? Because those sure are acetylene tits!
♡
Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
♡
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
♡
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
♡
Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.
♡
Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.
♡
Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
♡
Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!
♡
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
♡
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, “do you want to taste my drink?”
♡
Want to play lion? (She asks, “What’s that?”) That’s where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!
♡
Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.
♡
Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
♡
Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
♡
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
♡
Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
♡
Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
♡
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
♡
WAIT, don’t drink that. Don’t you know that makes your chest grow to twice its normal size? Oh, I’m sorry. I guess it’s too late.
♡
Vogue just called, they want to put you on the cover.
♡
Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
♡
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, “Particularly nice weather.”
♡
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
♡
This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
♡
They say a girls best friend are her legs. But even the best of friends sometimes have to part.
♡
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.
♡
There isn’t a word in the dictionary to describe how beautiful you are.
♡
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.
♡
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount.
♡
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
♡
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
♡
The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.
♡
The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
♡
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
♡
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
♡
The most common pickup line used in a gay bar: May I push in your stool?
♡
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
♡
The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.
♡
The drink: $6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
♡
That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!
♡
That’s a nice shirt, can I take you out of it?
♡
That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
♡
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
♡
That dress looks great on you
♡
Can you tell me how my cum tastes?
♡
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, “Wanna screw?”
♡
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
♡
Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
♡
Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
♡
Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
♡
Somebody needs to call the bomb squad, because you’re the bomb!
♡
Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
♡
Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!
♡
So, you must be the reason men fall in love.
♡
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
♡
So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
♡
So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I’ve got one that I’m just dying to put in your drawers.
♡
So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.
♡
So what haven’t you been told tonight?
♡
Wow! Are those real?
♡
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
♡
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
♡
Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
♡
Woman to Man: Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
♡
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren!
♡
With great penis, comes great responsibility.
♡
Will you marry me for just one night?
♡
Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the ‘d’ cause you’ll get that later!
♡
Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
♡
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
♡
Where’s your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head.
♡
When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
♡
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
♡
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
♡
When God made you, he was showing off.
♡
What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
♡
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.
♡
What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!
♡
What’s a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
♡
What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
♡
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
♡
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
♡
What size shoe you wear babygirl? I’m gonna guess size sexy!
♡
What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too! Seems like we are soulmates.
♡
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
♡
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
♡
What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
♡
What do you want for Christmas? A date with you!
♡
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
♡
What color is your shit?
♡
What are you doing tonight beside me?
♡
What are you doing for the rest of your life? Because I want to spend it with you.
♡
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
♡
We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
♡
Were do you hide your wings?
♡
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
♡
We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
♡
Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
♡
Was your father a welder? No, why? Because those sure are acetylene tits!
♡
Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
♡
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
♡
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
♡
Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.
♡
Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.
♡
Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
♡
Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!
♡
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
♡
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, “do you want to taste my drink?”
♡
Want to play lion? (She asks, “What’s that?”) That’s where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!
♡
Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.
♡
Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
♡
Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
♡
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
♡
Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
♡
Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
♡
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
♡
WAIT, don’t drink that. Don’t you know that makes your chest grow to twice its normal size? Oh, I’m sorry. I guess it’s too late.
♡
Vogue just called, they want to put you on the cover.
♡
Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
♡
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, “Particularly nice weather.”
♡
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
♡
This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
♡
They say a girls best friend are her legs. But even the best of friends sometimes have to part.
♡
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.
♡
There isn’t a word in the dictionary to describe how beautiful you are.
♡
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.
♡
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount.
♡
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
♡
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
♡
The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.
♡
The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
♡
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
♡
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
♡
The most common pickup line used in a gay bar: May I push in your stool?
♡
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
♡
The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.
♡
The drink: $6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
♡
That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!
♡
That’s a nice shirt, can I take you out of it?
♡
That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
♡
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
♡
That dress looks great on you
♡
Can you tell me how my cum tastes?
♡
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, “Wanna screw?”
♡
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
♡
Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
♡
Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
♡
Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
♡
Somebody needs to call the bomb squad, because you’re the bomb!
♡
Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
♡
Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!
♡
So, you must be the reason men fall in love.
♡
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
♡
So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
♡
So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I’ve got one that I’m just dying to put in your drawers.
♡
So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.
♡
So what haven’t you been told tonight?
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